Lately I’ve been noticing a trend with my kids. More often than I would like, their response to requests from myself (or my wife) are responded to with a “no,” or “I can’t!” (the latter is particularly upsetting). There seems to be a culture of no.
Where did this come from? Did they pick it up at school? Am I expecting too much, and this is their way of trying to even the odds? Is it the media? (It’s been much easier to find a picture of a mad parent, than an kind parent on the interwebs)
Or is it me?
I started listening to the way that I respond to THEM when they have requests of me. In the past few weeks I’ve noticed that I respond to their requests with a negative answer, or something like “not now,” or “maybe later” way too often. Instead of listening and responding from a place of understanding, I find that I respond from a place of selfishness and negativity. I think that I am contributing to the culture of no.
Now, I am not suggesting that every parent should say yes to every request from their children. There has to be limits, boundaries, guidelines, rules – whatever you choose to call it. But, the “no” responses need to come from a place where you and I are seeking for understanding in the actions and requests of our young ones.
So I’ve decided that I am going to try and promote a Culture of YES in my home. I’m going to try and respond with curiosity and love, instead of impatience. Instead of responding to their requests with a pre-recorded “no,” or “not now,” I am going to try something else. Not sure what that is yet. Any suggestions would be great! 🙂
I am hoping that my change in behavior/attitude will foster a new way of thinking and acting within my children. Hopefully We think of more solutions, not more obstacles.
Wish me luck!